Sorry for the silence. Things have been a little crazy here: E away; me and baby B all day, every day; trying to chip away at the packing before we move (July 31); getting utilities, phone, etc., set up at our new house.
AND I just got a contract to do some work at home for the next 8-10 weeks. So I am now officially a part-time work-at-home-mom (WAHM), no longer a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). Or maybe since it's part-time, I'm both? WAHM/SAHM?
(Other common acronyms, for those not in the loop, are work-outside-the-home mom (WOHM) and SAHD (stay-at-home-dad). There's also a rare species, a WAHD married to a WOHM, in our playgroup.)
I'm really excited about this work for many reasons. First of all, I don't think I'm cut out to be a totally full-time SAHM. Just taking care of the baby all day every day I felt ... dull. That's the best word I can think of.
Specifically, I felt like parts of my brain were getting dull because I wasn't using skills I'd used at work. I want to keep those skills sharp. I want to make sure I'm up to date and hire-able in a few years when the kid (or kids) are not at home all day. Also, I simply enjoy using those skills.
I also felt like I was becoming a dull person. I'm not sure why; maybe because I have been focusing all my energy on baby things and so all I know to talk about is sleep training, how to introduce solid foods, what baby's favorite toys are now, what the best kinds of strollers/carriers/bottles are, when he reaches sitting/teething/standing/crawling milestones, etc. When I talk to people without kids (or talk to anyone about anything besides kids) I have no idea what to say.
But I don't have any desire to a) go to work full-time outside the house or b) put the baby in daycare. So part-time at-home work would be perfect, and luckily, in my field, it's also pretty easy to find.
Long parenthetical aside:
Please don't misunderstand me! I'm not saying SAHMs are dull. I'm just saying that's how I personally felt as a full-time SAHM.
If you haven't heard of the so-called "mommy wars" you may wonder why I'm treating this subject delicately. There are heated online discussions about what's best for kids -- mothers working at home, outside the home, or staying at home with kids. These discussions get very personal and very ugly, with extremists on either side insisting there is one right way to do things, and that all other choices are selfish and/or ignorant, and lead to dire consequences for the children. If you think I'm kidding check out the comments on the Washington Post's On Balance columns.
The thing is, none of the parents I know and see in person -- a mix of WOHMs and SAHMs -- ever argue about this. We all understand that we've each chosen what we think is best for our families. Case closed.
It seems to me the "war" is mostly fought online, where one can hide behind a screen name, and fueled by morning television shows who want to boost ratings by fanning the flames.
If you are curious about this at all you can read a great post by Alice Bradley called Ending the Mommy Wars, once and for all.
End of parenthetical aside.
I love being with our baby, witnessing all his changes and developments in person, and getting to know his emerging personality. But if I have a little time away from him to work, I'll appreciate my time with him even more, and, I think, be a better mother to him.
