There I was, chopping zucchini and yellow squash and onion, tossing the chunks in the casserole dish, thinking, "this would be good with some rice," starting for the burlap bag of basmati under the window, then -- didn't I see arborio rice in the cabinet this morning? I reach up and pull the box out, and a fine yellow powder, sprinkled with with black specks, showers down into the sink.

Hmmm.

I climbed up on a chair for a better look and discovered that someone very small has been eating our Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix -- or, at least, spilling it onto the shelf and pooping hundreds of tiny little poops in it. I sniffed the box and detected a faint ammoniac smell. Suddenly, all the food in the cabinet seemed contaminated. Dinner forgotten for the moment, I yanked everything off the shelf and, if it was not sealed in an airtight container, directly into the trash.

I can't stop wondering who's been in my cupboard. The sand-grain-size droppings hints of cockroaches, but the ammoniac smell reminds me of the urine of small rodents I have known . . .

No, I take that back. I'll never eat at home again if I can picture either of those creatures scuttling and scurrying amongst my dry goods. I'll count my blessings and be thankful they haven't found their way to the cookie jar.