I'm applying for a volunteer position at the Zoo. "Large mammal interpreter," if you must know, although I am reluctant to tell you that because I can imagine all the jokes you'll make at my expense.

Anyway, if I get the position—there is an interview in two weeks and they will check references!—then I will go through intensive training for the privilege of hanging around the Elephant House, three times a month for one year, answering questions about the animals.

I made a preliminary visit before filling out my application. Because the animals were indoors, and I was taking pictures, I was much more conscious of the bars between us than I've ever been.